Y2K and Captain Hook

Could somebody please explain to me why I am so scared?

It's starting to consume my life. 

Could you like, give me a pill or something to make it stop?

Actually, don't. 

Cause I'm afraid of drugs.

I'm afraid of what they can do.

I'm also afraid of fire.

One time when I was eight, I was in Sunday school and my teacher told our class that if we didn't repent of our sins, then we would burn during the Second Coming.

Yeah, those words still scare me. 

I'm afraid of silence. 

That ear piercing sound of nothing always makes me feel uneasy.

Loud noises scare me too. 

And that jolt of electricity that run through your body right after they happen.

I'm afraid of driving too fast in the car.

Im afraid of running out of toilet paper in public restrooms.

I'm afraid of what's really in a hot dog.

I'm afraid of the footsteps I hear upstairs when I am the ONLY ONE HOME!!!

(It legit just happened you guys!!)

I'm afraid of homeless people. 

Not because some of them look like they could turn you into a human skin suit, but because they have nothing when I have everything I could ever need. 

What's even scarier is that most of them are actually well off, dishonest, people trying to steal your compassion and all the money in your wallet. 

I'm afraid that Enya is never going to make a new Album.

Im afraid of that stupid 3 foot doll my grandma keeps in our laundry room.

I let her keep it in there though because she loves that doll and I am afraid that someday I won't get to see her smile again. 

Yeah yeah, some of these things are really dumb but, these are things that strike fear in my soul.

What scares me the most is never being good enough.

In school, In being a sister, In being a future parent/spouse, But most of all, in the way God views me.

That absolutely terrifies me... 

A Tribute for Bricks

        This is a little shout out to all bricks.

I want to thank them for staying solid when I needed it the most.

If it weren't for the bricks I would have fallen to pieces years ago.

You see, you've taught me something vital.

Bricks don't hurt. People do.

Throw some bricks I dare you.

I won't mind.

All the scars and bruises that won't heal have already made me numb.

Go ahead.

One brick for when you left.

One more brick for the time you pushed her against the wall.

And another brick for October 31st.

Everything you did was just another brick used to block you out.

Don't you dare plea for me to let you back in. 

You had it all in your hands but, you decided you were done.

What else is there to say?

The bricks have been laid.

You poured the concrete.

Love Is Only a Stranger

Love? 

Yeah, I know who love is.

I don't know a whole lot about it but, I see it every now and again at the grocery store and sometimes at the park.

We have never really spoken to each other though.

I merely smile at it and give it a little head nod of acknowledgement whenever we see each other.

With all the times that our paths have crossed, I don't understand why I haven't just gone over to say hi.

I guess I have always been waiting for it to come to me first.

Love seems to stay kind of distant whenever it sees me.

I think it knows that I have been waiting for it, and I think that makes it nervous.

I would never do anything to hurt love though.

It's always so sweet and so kind and even when you do something wrong, it's always there to make you feel better.

I love that about love.

If only I could get to know it, my life would feel complete.

I'm afraid that I am never going to go get to know it.

And, what if one day it moves away and I will never get to see it again?

Im also afraid that if I do go and introduce myself that love will reject me and make me feel heartbroken.

Love has been known to do that to people.

What if that's the reason we haven't met yet?

Maybe love is trying to protect me from heart ache?

Maybe love knows that now is not the time for us.

Maybe love is waiting for the most opportune time to introduce itself?

Or maybe love is always watching and is planning a surprise attack?

I can never be quite sure.

For now,I am just going to keep waiting.

A Thank You Letter to the Child I Used to Be

Dear Darla,

I hate your stinking guts! Haha I thought this would be an appropriate way to start my letter since Little Rascals was one of your favorite movies. I've been think about you a lot lately, which may seem weird since you don't know me yet. but, I wanted to say something to you. I went on a drive the other day. I don't mean the kind you take when your bored and don't have anything better to do. (You'll understand this a little later.) I mean the kind when you place your hand over your eyes and point in any direction and get as far away in the direction as you can. It's kind of like Hide and go Seek. It's quite funny, somehow I ended up parked in front of the place were we grew up. There was never a white picket fence. Just a cold, rusty chain link fence. We didn't care though. It was our place. It was a small apartment complex with white stucco and a grey door. Our apartment was the one on the far right corner. Right next to our favorite pine tree. It stood so mighty and nothing seemed to ever move it. We loved climbing that tree. We would climb it branch by branch until we got all the way to the top. Remember how you would stretch out your sticky resined hands up towards the sky? With the sun beating down on your youthful face? You would pretend you were in heaven and you could talk to angels. Man, that tree made us feel like we were on top of the world. Mom never liked us up there. She always said you would fall out and break every bone in your tiny little body. But what did she know? That tree was a place you always felt safe. Some say we had it rough. but, you were a strong little girl. Just Like our tree. I wanted to thank you for all the memories. They remind me of the person you always wanted me to be. I'm sorry I haven't been doing a great job at being that person, but in all honesty, I hope that when I grow up I will be just like you. Thanks for everything.

Love, 
             The older version of you 

Things I do that I'm sure others don't do

These are just a few things I do that I am sure you don't do. Enjoy.

• I like to eat ice cream with a fork rather than a spoon.

• I make the same facial expressions that book characters make while I read.

• I talk to myself to keep myself company when I am left alone in a dark room.

• Sometimes I sing the Full House theme song at the top of my lungs when my family is not home.(ironic huh?)

• When I'm walking in a store and my footsteps match the beat of the song,I feel like the coolest person ever.

• If I am angry with someone,I rehearse what I am going to say to them in front of the mirror.

• I have a crush on the actor who plays Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory.

• Sometimes I laugh so loud in my sleep that I actually wake myself up.

• I blink every time people clap or make loud noises.

• I actually write blog posts about weird things that I do.

   P.S thank you for not judging me.

   
   love, 
         Darla Roe

I Am Here

You know those Summer nights, where the air is warm and the stars glisten in the sky, as if they were diamonds falling directly off of the throne of God? 

Those nights when you lay blankets down in your backyard and plug headphones into your ipod. 

The music succors you into a deep sedation, so that for a moment, the world is swept away by a wave and you're the only one who has been washed back onto shore. 

It's just you and God. 

Those are the moments in my life that my soul craves. 

It's times like these where I start to dream, but my eyes are wide open. 

I dream about love.  

Someday I'll be sure to find it. 

Or it will be sure to find me. 

In my dreams I am bigger than the world. 

Yet, as I stare up into the vault of heaven, I begin to realize how small I really am. 

I keep gazing but I'm only getting smaller and smaller. 

But, it doesn't bother me so much. 

It's then when I remember that I am with God and no matter how small I am, I will forever be great in His eyes. 

My dreams come true when they are revolved around Him. 

I am capable of doing anything when I have God by my side. 

He is my rock and I owe it to him for keeping me here.